Just for giggles, I contacted the few remaining employees at the Brady Bunch and asked for a job description/application for Paul’s position. They sounded a bit surprised that someone was actually interested and faxed me over a copy while I was still on the phone which I present to you here, unaltered.
Position: President of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence
Salary: $250,000/year with a 5 year commitment
Starting Date: July 9th, 2011
Job description: The Brady Campaign is the largest grass-roots organization working to prevent gun violence. Your role will be to lead a gaggle of unpaid and demoralized interns into the abyss while blowing unicorn farts up their saddened faces and humming the theme song to “Rocky.” You must inspire dozens of people by blogging twice a month and giving the occasional press conference to an empty room.
Required skills: Training will be provided but the ability to evacuate your bowels on demand and in public is an absolute must. Wiping your ass with the Constitution is a nice bonus.
Desired skills: The ability to tell outrageous lies while keeping a straight face. Again, training will be provided but you either have it or you don’t.
Location: Applicants must be willing to relocate to Washington DC. Non-cesspool areas are preferred.
Thank you for considering to join our big ball of fail.