Saturday, July 16, 2011

New job

I started my new job about 2 months ago. Still with the same company, just a different role. We’re a 2 man team that affects operations world wide. The veteran who’s bringing me up to speed is the absolute epitome of work ethics and efficiency.

We support requests from every corner of the globe and our expertise is one of the reasons our department hasn’t been outsourced to some other Hell-hole of a country.

Here’s a conversation we had the other day…

Him: Goddammit!

Me: What?

Him: Do you have your blade on you?

Me: Always, that’s why it’s called my blade.

Him: Singapore is trying to piss me off more than China. This packaging is ridiculous. Customs requirements are getting out of control.

Me: Here ya go, it’s sharp.

Him: I used to carry a knife but company policy won’t allow it.

Me: We can’t do our jobs if we don’t have a blade. I use mine a half-dozen times every day and you borrow it just as much.

Him: Yeah, I know. I usually have a box cutter close by but I always set it down somewhere and lose track of it.

Me: Well then I’m going to buy you a decent blade and you’re going to carry it everyday.

Him: Cool.

Carrying a knife at work will subject one to immediate termination if you believe company policy.
Then reality rears its ugly head and everyone who’s worth their salt carries a decent blade.

Being who you are is an asset in so many different ways.

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Joel said...

Heh. Break at least one law or regulation daily - it's good for your health, like drinking a beer.

Weer'd Beard said...

Its always ironic when some of the sheep look nervously at one of my knives. Hoplophobia isn't just for guns.

Ironic because they asked if I could help them open something so I pulled out my knife.

You'd think they'd get the connection that having a knife is a good thing.

Well the lady at the front desk has a Ka-Bar Dozier folder, and my boss carries a Gekkota multitool around her neck.

So I'm making progress.

We have opposable thumbs for a reason!

Chris said...

Characteristics of a gorilla.

1. Heavy callouses on the knuckles.
2. Missing a tail.
3. Bright eyes. There is definitely someone at home.
4. The opposable thumb is beyond their comprehension.
5. Has trouble negotiating trees. No tail.
6. Eat their own excrement to get the LAST bit of value.

Characteristics of a Liberal.

1. Heavy callouses on their knuckles.
2. Missing a tail.
3. Bright eyes (on) but nobody home.
4. The opposable thumb is beyond their comprehension.
5. Has trouble negotiating trees. No tail.
6. Eat their own excrement to get the last bit of value. Again and again and again thru ∞.

I've carried various folders all my life. Growing up on a ranch, even as a kid, I carried one my Dad gave me with the dire warning. "Don't lose this". I never did but it's retired now and sitting in a drawer around here somewhere.

Firehand said...

Couple of years ago a the library friend noticed one of the librarians having real trouble trying to get a box open, asked if he could help, "Yes, please!" Took out Swiss Army Knife and opened box.

Librarian glared at him and said "You're not supposed to carry weapons in the library!"

Hmmm. He was polite, "This is not a weapon, it's a tool." to further glaring. Personally, I'd have been inclined to say "Well, then open your own damned boxes."

Nate said...

Knives- don't leave home without at least one. I keep a small Kershaw assisted folder clipped to my jeans watch pocket and a swiss army knife in the same side front pocket. The Kershaw is for cutting things, the SAK is for fixing things.