I’ve said many times before that I’m not good at scooping stories. I spend enough of my time reading and commenting, mainly on anti sites, and that I really don’t care to challenge the big dogs. But I had the brain fart that maybe I could score some original content if I helped to create it.
So I called Carolyn McCarthy’s office and asked if I could interview her about H.R. 308 and its Senate counterpart S. 32.
The phone picker-upper asked if I was a journalist right off the bat and I responded that I was not but that I was a member of the New Media and passionate about this issue. What? Thirdpower gave me the keys to the Trailer a while back when he was playing soldier and I made a copy and didn’t tell him about. Deal with it.
I gave my personal info and contact information and waited by the phone every evening during the hours I had specified I would be available. Spent that time cleaning guns I did.
While engaged in a heavy cuss storm trying to put my Ruger Mark II back together, my rotary dial phone started ringing. Ya, it’s a rotary and ya I have a reason.
Here’s the transcript:
Me: Welcome to the man cave, what can I do ya for?
McCarthy: Uh…is this kaveman?
Me: The one and only ma’am, are you interested in the half-hour quickie or the full service.
McCarthy: Excuse me, I don’t think…
Me: Oh, are you Congresswoman McCarthy??? My apologies; I left 2 phone numbers for contact and this is my gunsmithing business. I clean guns as a side business for people who like to shoot but don’t like to do all the tear down and minor repairs themselves. I’m pleased that you called.
McCarthy: Oh, uh…okay………….did you have some questions about my bill?
Me: I did and still do ma’am.
McCarthy: Well, I’m happy to answer any questions you might have but do you mind if I ask if you are one of my constituents?
McCarthy: Uh…nope you’re not one of my constituents or nope you don’t mind me asking?
McCarthy: Well, what did you want to know about HR 308 and S 32? They’re both online and …
Me: Yes, I’ve read through both several times over and still have some questions.
McCarthy: Such as?
Me: Well, what exactly will “transfer” mean if your bill becomes law? I read your bill as stating that anyone who legally owns an “ammunition feeding device” of 11 or more rounds currently will still be within the bounds of the law but can not transfer this “ammunition feeding device” to any other person unless they are employed in a law enforcement capacity.
McCarthy: That is correct. “We're determined to ban high-capacity gun magazines like the one Jared Lee Loughner allegedly used in Tucson, Arizona, when he was able to fire 31 bullets in 15 seconds because he supersized his Glock 19 handgun with a high-capacity magazine. High-capacity magazines -- devices that dramatically boost a weapon's firing power -- were prohibited from 1994 until 2004, when the federal assault weapons ban was in place. It's time to end the bloodshed and restore common sense to our gun laws -- beginning with a permanent ban on high-capacity gun magazines. These deadly devices are the weapon of choice for the deranged. This new legislation's goal is not to eliminate gun ownership in responsible hands; we simply want to restore a sensible safeguard that protects our families and children. The bottom line: We shouldn't have to rely on innocent bystanders to protect lives when these lethal weapons are in the hands of killers. This responsibility rests with Congress and President Obama -- and we shouldn't wait another day to get the job done.”
Me: I need to be clear, does your ban have a Grandfather clause for those who currently own these “ammunition feeding devices?”
McCarthy: Yes. Anyone who owns these devices prior to the law being enacted will be allowed to retain them.
Me: There will be no effort to confiscate these magazines which you have described as weapons of mass destruction and are only useful for murdering people?
McCarthy: No, that would be impractical and unwise.
McCarthy: I do not believe that we should punish people retro-actively who bought these magazines legally.
Me: But by your own words, these magazines are the weapons of choice for the deranged. That would imply that those who own them, shouldn’t.
McCarthy: We need to take one step at a time.
Me: Well, thank you. You’ve answered the questions I had.
McCarthy: You’re welcome and I look forward to more of these common sense dialogues in the future.
Do you think this is satire or real?
Hint: You might want to read some of my other stuff.