Friday, December 19, 2014

The no warrant knock.

So I had a weird experience today, which is somewhat unsurprising since I have a weird life in general and I don’t worry too much about it; I just try to laugh at the world and have fun with God’s debris.

The local sheriff knocked on my door along with a female deputy this morning. I opened the door just a crack so my psycho dog wouldn’t run outside and asked what they wanted. They said they were wondering if I would allow them inside to search my home for guns I wasn’t aware of being there. I thought about it for a second while kicking my dog and figured what the hell, I should be able to have some fun with this scenario.

I said that would be fine and informed them that there were a number of firearms inside that I WAS aware of and I would really appreciate it if they could find the 3 or 4 I had misplaced.

“Are any of the guns loaded, sir?”

“Yes, please treat them all as if they’re loaded.”

“No problem, sir, is your dog friendly?

“To friends, yes.”

“It appears she has a mini-revolver on her collar.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that one.”

“OK, well we’d like to start with the bedrooms.”

So I go into the kitchen and start making breakfast and let them roam around when I hear the inevitable…


“See anything you like, officer?”

“I wish the department would let us carry these?”

“Yeah, well it’s a pain in the ass when someone else has the authority to tell you what you can and can’t have for your personal protection, huh?”

“True, dat, how many guns do you own?”

“You’re still in the first bedroom, do you have any medical conditions I should be aware of before I show you the armory?”

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMN, is this a gun show or something!?!?!?”

“Naw, it’s just me.”

The above is satire…but with all satire, it contains a truth nugget. Watching the news lately I had a thought. In some communities, the cops see only the weapon, or the person themselves AS A WEAPON and respond with lethal force after a minimal and somewhat ambiguous threshold has been breached.

In other communities, cops will pull over, roll down their window and tell you they wish they could carry on the job what you have on your hip while your out raking the leaves, then wave politely and drive away.

I have far more questions than answers, which I think is true humility when confronting the human condition. Pro-gunners, the antis and the “authorities” are all asking the same question.

“What if…?”

I prepare for the “what ifs” on this blue and green marble we call home. The antis wish to create a world where the question itself is no longer valid.

Which group is being irrational?

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1 comment:

Chase said...

I thought you were reporting something that actually happened until the mini-revolver on the dog's collar.