Monday, July 2, 2012

The next mole...

Name: Mr. kaveman
Address: American
Phone: 1-800-gun-bans


 I finally got smart enough and quit any sort of former schooling after that wench Suzie Campbell wouldn’t share the lego pile. My parents taught me how to read via Seseme Street and memorizing the recipes on cans of Cheese Whiz. My education today consists primarily of following Twitter feeds of Hollywood action stars.

Job History:

1989 June 27th-July 3rd. I worked the fry station at McDonalds and got fired for throwing boiling oil in some Indian chicks face for marrying outside of her caste.

Qualifications for working at the Brady Campaign to Ban Guns:

1. I want to ban small guns because they are small.
2. I want to ban large guns because they are large.
3. I want to ban medium sized guns which fire what are defined as intermediate ammunition because I believe people who own these weapons are taking advantage of the small and large gun ban loop hole.
4. I want to ban any gun which can be fitted with optics because they then become sniper weapons which can kill from over a mile away.
5. I want to ban all toy guns because they teach kids to murder and can be converted into real guns by filing down the firing pin.
6. I want to see the 2nd Amendment repealed, all guns seized by force so we can move on to banning bladed weaponry and blunt objects.

In closing, I have spent countless hours being mentored by Paul Helmke, Dennis Henigan, Peter Hamm, Doug Pennington and Zach Ragbourne. I feel that I understand the culture of the Brady Campaign and wish to join your team.

P.S. I realize that this, like all your job openings, is un unpaid position…but, do you have any photos of Sarah Brady’s feet???

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1 comment:

Chase said...

I think you meant to title this post "The Next TROLL." :-)