Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ya, this is with it.

Jeff Foxworthy’s best routine is “You might be a Redneck if…” bit.

Sooooo…I’m going to shamelessly steal it.

You might be a gun nut extremist if…

1. When transporting your gear to the range, you realize your vehicle handles totally differently.
2. Your home has more gun safes than bedrooms.
3. You’ve ever bought a holster for a gun you don’t own…yet.
4. When at the range, someone approaches you and asks “Is this a gun show and where are the price tags?”
5. Your buddy has ever reminded you that you do indeed own a particular firearm. (Never gonna live that one down).
6. Your food pantry doubles as an ammunition cache.
7. You’ve ever retrieved live ammo from your clothes dryer.
8. Your clothes shopping decisions are based on CCW practicalities.
9. Your dogs AND cats know not to ever touch a firearm.
10. Your home defense strategy is to carry a handgun so you can fight your way to the shotgun if need be.
11. You are astounded that not all guns come equipped with bayonet mounts.
12. You have more and better guns than your local police department.
13. A cop has ever remarked that they wished they could carry what you are carrying.
14. You have a “bathroom gun”.
15. Your cleaning kit weighs more than 10 lbs.
16. You’ve ever torn a gun down to the point where you can’t put it back together again.
17. You’ve ever “chopped” down a tree with a gun…and didn’t have to reload.
18. You’ve ever had to move ammunition so you’d have room to chop vegetables.
19. You have a “gun room” in your home.
20. You created an excel spreadsheet just to keep track of all the crap you own.

As an added bonus, here’s another list titled…“You Know you’re from Oregon if…”

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Anonymous said...

If you have ever used your kitchen sink as a bench rest.

Pat said...

You have a window without a screen, you took it out since shooting holes in it meant you'd have to fix it.

dubber308 said...

Your coffee and end tables are stacked cases of ammo covered with a tablecloth.
You bought your kid's or grandkid's first gun before they are born.

ExurbanKevin said...

Guilty on #7 (I coulda swored I took out the spare mag for the P3AT before I tossed those pants in the laundry...), #10 (See "P3AT" above) and #16, although that's a rather easy thing to accomplish with a CZ75...

kaveman said...

"You have a window without a screen, you took it out since shooting holes in it meant you'd have to fix it."

It's funny because it's true. I do indeed have a window with the screen removed for that very purpose.

Shawn said...

Well it isn't an 'excel' spreadsheet...