Wednesday, July 22, 2015

To: All Readers

It has been brought to the blog owner's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal posting between commenters.  Due to complaints from some of the more easily offended readers, this conduct can no longer be tolerated.

The blog owners do however realize the importance of each person being able to properly express his/her feelings when communicating with their fellow readers.  Therefore, the blog owners have compiled the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in the proud DOOT tradition.

OLD PHRASE                                                 NEW PHRASE

No Fucking Way!                                              I'm not certain that's feasible.

You've got to be shitting me.                              Really?

Tell someone who gives a fuck.                          Perhaps you should check with......

Ask me if I give a fuck.                                      Of course I'm concerned.

It's not my fucking problem.                               I wasn't involved in that project.

What the fuck?                                                  Interesting behavior.

Fuck it, it won't work.                                       I'm not sure I can implement that.

Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner.              I'll try to schedule that.

When the fuck do you expect me to do this?      Perhaps I can work late. 

Who the fuck cares?                                         Are you sure it's a problem?

He's got his head up his ass.                              He's not familiar with the problem.

Eat shit.                                                            You don't say?

Eat shit and die.                                                Excuse me?

What the fuck do they want from my life?          The weren't happy with it?

Kiss my ass.                                                     So you'ld like my help with it?

Fuck it, I'm on salary.                                       I'm a bit overloaded at the mom
Shove it up your ass.                                        I don't think you understand.

This job sucks.                                                 I love a challenge.

Who the hell died and made you boss?             You want me to take care of this?

Blow me.                                                          I see.

Blow yourself.                                                   Do you see?

Another fucking meeting.                                   Yes. we should discuss this.

I really don't give a shit.                                     I don't think it will be a problem.

Fuck you.                                                        How nice. How very, very nice!

Thank you for your understanding in our attempts to promote Reasoned Discourse amongst our readership.

The DOOT blog team.

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Archer said...

So... you're saying the DOOT comment section has started to resemble CSGV's Facebook comments? ;)

Lucusloc said...

I do not see entries for "Fuck you, the horse you rode in on and the whore that birthed you" or "you have shit for brains". I assume I should just match the praises that have the closest correlation, or is this intended to be more of a 1-to-1 direct-translation thing (in which case certain cross sections of our community are going to need a much more expansive and colorful list to handle translation)?

Lucusloc said...

Lol at the spell-check correction. Guess I should have paid a little bit more attention. . .

Archer said...

For the first, may I suggest, "How nice! You have a wonderful family life!"?

For the second, "I disagree with your logical conclusion."


Lucusloc said...


Ok, so this is supposed to be a 1-to-1 translation then. Let me go hit up a few forums I know for common vernacular. I hope this blog does not have a character limit for posts. . .

David aka True Blue Sam said...

I'd like to print this out and leave it in a couple of offices I visit regularly, but I'm too darn close to retirement.