Thursday, March 5, 2009

Cats vs Dogs

When I go grocery shopping, I look for the best value for my money. Why would I pay extra for the sweaty butcher to cut my top sirloin into cube steak so I can make chili?

Well, I don’t.

I buy the steaks and cut them myself with my assault blade which I spray slice from the hip.

Minimal invested = increased value.

That’s because I’m a “higher animal” that can think things through; I can rationalize, I can plan ahead, I can make decisions now that will benefit me in the future. Not like those “lower animals”.


A lioness, looking down from a low ridge will actually pick out and target the scrawny impala with a gimpy leg rather than the one prancing about with the most meat.

Why would a top predator target the weak and crippled rather than the front of the pack?

Minimal investment = increased value.

That “inferior animal” is you and I at the grocery store. She’s smart enough to know that the risk is too great to target those who can not only fight back, but quite possibly win with one well placed hoof. She employees very advanced tactics, really. Separate her target from the herd, get it alone, then attack.

Which leads to a question I hope you will consider.

Why do cats clean themselves while dogs do not?


Shawn said...

They charge to cut up the meat you buy? They do that for free where we go grocery shopping.

Joe said...

the cat thinks its ass don't stink & tastes good?????

HAL 9000 said...

Dogs are content with their identity. Besides, they're too worn out after expending nearly all their energy greeting you, begging for a treat, or chasing that silly ball you throw them to waste time on something that won't fix their God given smell anyway! Yuk yuk yuk.

I got nothing against cats. I almost like 'em!

kaveman said...

Actually, it has to do with hunting style. Cats, in general, hunt as an individual and prefer to stalk as close as possible to prey before they announce their presence, so they clean themselves to remove their scent. This is also why cats bury their turds.

Dogs hunt in packs so stalking isn't needed. They overwhelm with numbers.

Timmeehh said...

Dogs DO clean themselves.

They start by licking their balls, but then they forget about the rest. I wonder why?